Chapter Eight
"Would you like fries with that?" I asked. You wanna be able to tell a veteran fastfood employee from a rookie? Just listen to this line. If it's filled with any emotion at all, even fake perkiness... it's a rookie.  I thought about what Tux said. I'm going to die doing this job! When I'm ninety I'm going to fall head first into the fryer vat and that's how they'll find me. On my tombstone it will say "Here lies (fill in the blank) she served burgers". And when people look at that they'll give it the same look they give me now. You know the look I'm talking about. And what if I told these people. "I'm an author in training... I write stories and there are people who actually like them..." They probably don't care anyway. What can you do? The customer's always right (or something). On a personal note I've never spit into anyone's burger but hell... temptation!
"Hi," the guy said with a smile.
I caught the smile from the corner of my eye and looked up. It's hard to get smiles on this side of the counter. It was the hottie on the bus!
He raised a bent finger to his lips and his brow furrowed. "Let me think for a moment." He looked up at the electronic menu.
"Sure. Go ahead." Let me admire you for a moment.
The smile grew wider. Under his arm he held two schoolbooks and a folder. His hair was dirty blonde, straight, and unmanageable. That messed up look as though he just got out of the shower. He had green eyes. (Tux said he had green eyes, didn't he?). He had the lightest dash of freckles on his nose. I wonder if Tux had freckles.
Not knowing what I was doing I licked my lips.
This seemed to have had an effect on him because nervous laughter escaped him and he handed me his order quickly. He blushed as he handed me the price and when I gave him back his change. I wonder what his name was. Maybe Bastian. His freckles made me think of the name Bastian.
When his food was ready I handed him the tray and started to sweep. I thought of Cinderella. I cast glances at him. He chewed with his mouth closed (Do you have ANY idea what a gem that is?).
"You look sad," the guy mentioned when I passed by him the third time. That spot around his chair is really clean now.
With my hand I directed his attention to the cheap neon lights, filmy windows, and the gigantic plaster burger used for a wall. "I work here..."
"A job's a job," he told me.
I leaned against the broom handle. I looked at my supervisor who was counting out the registers except for the one we use at night. It was pretty late. I shifted my feet. I mumbled. "There's this guy..."
"Guy?" his eyebrows shot up.
"... on the Internet."
"Oh." (You know what "Oh" I'm talking about. Don't pretend you don't).
I went back to sweeping vigorously.
He smiled knowing I was thinking what he was thinking. "Fat, balding guy from Ohio?"
"He's not that," I defended. Then again how would I know? Fat balding guy from Ohio who knew a lot about Prince William just like a girly teen bop fan. Gruesome. Perish the thought. I gave him a summary. Minus, Tux's claim as Prince William's friend. He didn't need to know that.
He was silent for a moment.
I waited for what was coming. Now we're gonna go back to the Ohio guy analogy. He's going to tell me that it's just the Internet. That I shouldn't care because it was just a playground for con-artists and pedophiles. He's going to preach to me about drunk, beer-bellied crackheads that log on. He's going to tell me about the evils of cybersex. He's going to...
"How does Tux make you feel?" he asked, patiently. It was a psychologist's tone. Cool, calm, wise. The kind of tone that makes you want to tear their heads off!
"He makes me feel... He makes me feel..." Gee, how does Tux make me feel? "Good," I decided on the word. "We'd e-mail about the most BORING things. We'd meet each other on Friday afternoon faithfully. We'd make each other laugh. We'd exchange opinions. He makes me feel like I mattered to him." Tux's words: It's not as if you're anyone important. I guess I was wrong.
The guy paused before saying. "I don't see the problem."
"What if he's LYING!!!!!" I exploded, close to tears. "What if I've been thinking he's this great guy -- and in reality he's scum! What if I've spent all this time CARING about him -- and all this time he's been LAUGHING at me behind my back!" My Tux! My precious Tux, laughing at me? Oh, are the gods that cruel?
"And what if he's still that great guy?" he reasoned. "Do you want to lose that?"
"But if this other guy could lie --" I sputtered.
"Tux is not 'the other guy'" He gripped my shoulders. Pretty bold for someone I just met fifteen minutes ago, dontcha think? "As far as I can tell things were good between you and Tux before this 'other guy' came in the picture." He let go. "Don't let him pay for something someone else did. You trust him not to be this guy drunk in hicksville why can't you trust him to be this great guy you say he is and the great guy he's proven to be."
I didn't know what to say.
He leaned against the machine. "People could lie anywhere, on the Internet... over the phone... face-to-face. It doesn't matter where. It's not the medium you should question. It's the person."
I'm being left speechless here! "So what's a guy like you doin' in dis here parts?" I changed the subject.
"I'm hungry." He grinned.
"What's your name?"
"Trevor." He pronounced it Tre-vah. Underlying European accent there?
I gave him my name.
We shook hands I left him to eat his dinner which was by that time hopelessly soggy. He didn't give me any grief about it. I went back to work. They didn't pay me minimum wage to talk to cute guys. If there's a job like this e-mail me and give me that number -- I want an interview.
I went back to the registers to help anopther customer and by the time I came out Trev was gone. I wondered if I was going to see him again.

I sat in front of my computer and waited to connect to AOL. It's not as if you're anyone important. Tux, sure had a way with words. He wasn't on my buddy list. Had he put me on ignore? Were we ever going to speak to each other again? I was so relieved when I saw his name appear. I spoke first.

Starrside: Are we going to talk
TuxSuit82: I don't know.
TuxSuit82: Are we?

I sighed.
(pause)
(LONG pause)

Starrside: You know,
Starrside: since we're both in a realllllly bad mood
Starrside: I have this great idea
Starrside: let's have cybersex!

Insane thought. I'll explain.

Starrside: sure we'll lose all respect for each other
Starrside: but hey! at least we'll be on ground zero again
Starrside: we can work from there

I was willing to try anything.

TuxSuit82: Thank you, but no.

He has no idea how much respect he gained from me by saying those words.

Starrside: When you told me I was no one important you hurt me.
Starrside: all right I'm nobody.
Starrside: to the world I'm nobody
Starrside: I'm not like your friend William who caught the world's interest since he drew his first breath
Starrside: Hooray for him!
Starrside: I'm not Bill Clinton who can attract everyone's attention as to what happens in the Oval Office
Starrside: But you know what?
Starrside: One day I could be
Starrside: One day I might be

Paparazzi chasing me? Scandals in the paper about me? Horrendous thought. Why was I thinking about that.

Starrside: Who are you to limit my potential anyway?

This was the motivational tapes my mom sadistically forces me to listen to talking.

Starrside: right now I'm important in my own little world and that's enough.
Starrside: you know what?
Starrside: regardless whether I'm important to the world
Starrside: regardless whether I'm going to be important to the world
Starrside: I thought at least I was important to you

I waited for his reply. What I got was:

TuxSuit82: and I thought you trusted me

Darn! Hadn't expected that.

TuxSuit82: Hit me

Huh?

Starrside: what?
TuxSuit82: you want proof I'm an Etonian, don't you?
TuxSuit82: that I know Prince William, don't you?

I could almost see him sneer. It was breaking my heart.

TuxSuit82: so ask me!!!
TusSuit82: ask me anything about Eton and I'll answer it
TuxSuit82: something only an Etonian would know
TuxSuit82: something only Prince William's friend would know
TuxSuit82: and I will give you an answer

He was glaring at the screen now. I knew he was.

TuxSuit82: c'mon, give me your best shot

The taunt stung. I tried to keep a straight head.

Starrside: you'll get into trouble

(pause)

TuxSuit82: you let me worry about that

I really didn't want to take advantage of that statement. He had a bruised ego right then and he was trying to soothe it. Like I was trying to soothe mine. But then again... Eton Secrets? I could find out some of them? How many? One? Two? Ohhhhh, the temptation! I looked at what Tux write again.

TuxSuit82: I'm waiting

I racked my brains. I wanted this to be good. I thought about asking Tux something I knew, that way I'd know if the answer was correct or not. But then again if I already knew the info... where was the fun in that? And what I knew could be pulled of any Prince William fan mag or website. Hmmm, a girl online once told me if you ever talk to a guy claiming to be an Etonian ask them about the "burning bush". Uh, is there some religious concept to this? Because when I first heard that... the mental image in my mind were two Etonians meeting and one going "Hey, man, I just peed on the burning bush!" Sounded like something gross which my brain would be better off not knowing about. What did I really really want to know about Eton? The direction to William's room. Quick! Point! I finally decided on:

Starrside: I want you...
TuxSuit82: yes?

I thought it over. Was this my final decision? Yes, it was.

Starrside: to describe in detail...

I paused for effect.

Starrside: the Eton Wall Game

Etonian or otherwise that will take keep him preoccupied.

TuxSuit82: that's it?
TuxSuit82: you want to know about the Wall Game? you could get that info rom any Eton website!

He sounded disappointed in me.

Starrside: you mean like...

I searched the web, found what I was looking for, copied and pasted:

Starrside: Eton wall game: two teams of pupils - Oppidans and Collegers - duff each other up in a polite sort of way in front of a large wall. No team has scored a goal since 1907.
Starrside: like that?
TuxSuit82: yes!

Uh, yelling? Not a good sign.

Starrside: but that doesn't tell me anything!
Starrside: I want details!
Starrside: how many guys are on a team?
Starrside: how do you make a goal?
Starrside: what does the uniform like?
Starrside: all I get from those unimformative sentences is the image of a wall.
Starrside: Brick.
Starrside: guys around it.
Starrside: cute ones.
Starrside: and they're just -- STANDING THERE!
TuxSuit82: LOL
Starrside: no wonder a goal hasn't been scored in so long!

I made him laugh! I thought. There was hope for us!

TuxSuite82: :-)
TuxSuit82: there are five guys one each team

I leaned closer to the computer screen in anticipation.

TuxSuit82: it takes place on the playing fields outside of the school

Uh-huh. I wondered if I should take down notes.

TuxSuit82: yes, there is a wall. hence the name.

Duh. Okay...now get to the good stuff.

TuxSuit82: and we wear ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Warning bells!!!!!

TuxSuit82: but we wear paint
TuxSuit82: bright paint
TuxSuit82: all over our bodies
TuxSuit82: red, yellow, blue,
TuxSuit82: very colorful :-)
TuxSuit82: and we jump around in a circle on pogo sticks
TuxSuit82: yelling "Oooomp-ah!" ten times at the highest volume of our voice boxes
TuxSuit82: think rain dance
TuxSuit82: we do this upside down
TuxSuit82: we're so talented
TuxSuit82: and we balance rubber balls on our toes!
TuxSuit82: green and orange
TuxSuit82: these are not to be dropped
TuxSuit82: the team makes the other team die from embarassment wins!

Smart Aleck! I thought lovingly

Starrside: considering there has never been a goal scored in so long I figure you have a high embarassment capacity.
TuxSuit82: we do

After a pause.

Starrside: I hear what you're not saying
TuxSuit82: do you?

The angry tone had returned.
You're saying accept me for me. Don't ask me to prove anything because that means doubt. And what's a relationship where there is no trust? That's what it sounded like to me.

Starrside: yes
TuxSuit82: good

I sighed.

Starrside: so where do we go from here?
TuxSuit82: I don't know
Starrside: did I hurt you that bad?

A pause.

TuxSuit82: you're not the first

Well, gee, that made me feel super! I wasn't going to cry.

Starrside: can we get past this

A pause.

TuxSuit82: I don't know
Starrside: are you mad at me?

A pause

TuxSuit82: not anymore
TuxSuit82: I was
TuxSuit82: I don't know what I'm feeling now

What was it that Trevor said? There's only one more question to ask

Starrside: will I get to talk to you again?

I held my breath.

TuxSuit82: yes

I breathed. Closing my eyes, dwelling in relief.

TuxSuit82: I have to be going
Starrside: will you be on later?
TuxSuit82: you can look but I doubt it
Starrside: okay
Starrside: bye

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

Will you ever talk to me again?
Yes.
I hung on to that hope.

Chapter Nine
But he wasn't on later that night.
Or the night after that.
I read in a magazine that William broke his leg (okay, we all know that this is fiction. I figured William got bashed in the head at age 10, Harry had that broken arm, and Wills that broken finger. A leg seemed to be the next limb in line to get broken) and I wanted to ask Tux about it. I wrote him an e-mail. Very short with private jokes that I knew he liked.
The week went by without a response, without one e-mail from him.
Hope began to look a bit foolish right then.
When I saw his name the next Friday afternoon. I leapt on it.

Starrside: where have you been?
Starrside: are you still mad?
Starrside: if you're never going to talk to me again you should just tell me instead of leaving me hanging

Man, what if he calls it off?
No! No! Please no!
A pause.

TuxSuit82: I'm sorry

Did not sound good.

TuxSuit82: this is the brother

Oh!

TuxSuit82: I'm checking Tux's e-mail for him.
Starrside: Harry?
TuxSuit82: he can't come to the computer for a while
TuxSuit82: yes, this is Harry ;)
TuxSuit82: so Wills told you?
Starrside: no I never spoke to Wills
Starrside: just Tux
Starrside: he teases me about you having the same name as the younger prince
Starrside: drives me nuts! And I miss it. I miss it... I miss his teasing.
TuxSuit82: lol
TuxSuit82: so I guess Wills didn't tell you?

Why didn't that senetence make any sense to me?

Starrside: like I said
Starrside: I only talked with Tux

I added.

Starrside: and now you
Starrside: by the way, how is Wills with that broken leg of his?

Would I be getting a "no comment" from him?

TuxSuit82: Wills will live ;)
Starrside: cool
Starrside: is Tux with him in the hospital?
Starrside: keeping him company and all like the fantastic friend that he is?
TuxSuit82: you could say that

There was a little lag in the conversation.

TuxSuit82: Starrside? As in Starr... the one with the stories?
Starrside: I guess you could call me that
TuxSuit82: I've heard Tux mention you
TuxSuit82: any message?
Starrside: this might sound mushy
Starrside: but it's not
TuxSuit82: lol. all right
Starrside: just tell him I miss him
TuxSuit82: ;)
TuxSuit82: it's been swell talking to you. I gtg. bye.
Starrside: Swell? lol. same =)
TuxSuit82: I'll tell Wills you said 'hi' too

Great, just what I need. Tux's younger brother teasing me about my obsession. Didn't those boy's in London have any mercy? Some compassion? Guess not.

Starrside: hope to talk to you again.
TuxSuit82: lol. sure, if Tux will let me go near the comp again
Starrside: an internet hog, is he? =)
TuxSuit82: you would know ;)
Starrside: lol

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.