Starrside: You're late
Starrside: you promised you wouldn't
TuxSuit82: all right. I'm a little bit late
Starrside: FOUR DAYS?
TuxSuit82: It was Christmas I couldn't get near a comp
TuxSuit82: Plus I had to entertain aunts, and photo sessions etc.
Starrside: photo sessions?
TuxSuit82: you know, uncle takes pictures and sends it to relatives around the world
TuxSuit82: Anyway, I'm here.
TuxSuit82: @--->----
Starrside: You're FOUR DAYS late and all I get is a measely rose?
TuxSuit82: But don't you know what a single rose means?
Starrside: well some people think of it as meaning "you're the only one for me"
Starrside: I prefer to see it as "cheap"
TuxSuit82: okay, hold on.
TuxSuit82:.......@@
...................@@@@
....................@@@
....................\......../
.....................\....../
..................... \..../
TuxSuit82: better?
Starrside: much better
TuxSuit82: I'm in a tux
TuxSuit82: what are you wearing?
Starrside: I'm in a bathrobe. You were suppose to pick me up FOUR DAYS ago.
TuxSuit82: Starrside, work with me here!
TuxSuit82: Where's your imagination?

This guy was good. He knew where to aim and he was a straight shot.

Starrside: hold on while I get dressed.

I left the room. I searched my closet and got out a dress. Never wanting to stay away from the computer for long, I rushed back.

TuxSuit82: Starrside?
TuxSuit82: hello?
TuxSuit82: waiting for a response
TuxSuit82: hmmm...she must've gone out the back window
Starrside: I'm here. I had to get my dress.
Starrside: And it has a flower print and spaghetti straps in case you have to know
TuxSuit82: you mean you're really going to change?
Starrside: do you or do you not want my imagination at its best?
TuxSuit82: does this mean i have to get in a real tux?

I slipped the dress on.

TuxSuit82: um, need help?

I smiled as I typed.

Starrside: who allowed you into my room!
TuxSuit82: the door was open
Starrside: was not!
TuxSuit82: was too
Starrside: =P
TuxSuit82: =P
TuxSuit82: you seem to have problems with your zipper. :::grin::: May I?
Starrside: Sure
Starrside: its the least you can do for being FOUR DAYS late.

I wasn't going to let him forget that so easily.

TuxSuit82: you're fine. All right let's go.
Starrside: Excuse me!
Starrside: I still have to fix my hair.
TuxSuit82: Women. They take forever to get ready!
Starrside: combing my hair
TuxSuit82: :::checking watch:::

Let him wait!

Starrside: putting on lipstick
TuxSuit82: :::whistles impatiently:::

Serves him right to suffer!

Starrside: putting on my earrings.
Starrside: (my mom's gonna kill me for borrowing her stuff)
TuxSuit82: You look ravishing.
TuxSuit82: we're heading out the door now!
Starrside: My shoes!
TuxSuit82: you can put them on in the limo.
Starrside: Limo?
TuxSuit82: it's waiting.
TuxSuit82: and don't mind the big guy following us
TuxSuit82: he's my bodyguard
Starrside: bodyguard?
TuxSuit82: like William.
Starrside: like William?
Starrside: oh Tux!
TuxSuit82: :-)

I realized.

Starrside: I forgot to put on my deodorant!

(pause)

TuxSuit82: here! :::throws back-up deodorant supply in Starrside's direction:::
Starrside: don't look
TuxSuit82: you think I want to?

Is it just me? Or was this date getting weird?

Starrside: are we in America or London while were on this date?
TuxSuit82: your pick
Starrside: London
Starrside: I hardly get to travel.
TuxSuit82: London it is then.
TuxSuit82: The streetlights are out
TuxSuit82: we see couples strolling down the walk
TuxSuit82: i could use another end of the conversation here, Starrside
TuxSuit82: hello?

I wanted to give him a twist.

Starrside: flat tire
TuxSuit82: what?
Starrside: limo has a flat tire
TuxSuit82: and why does it have a flat tire???
Starrside: :::shrug::: ran over a nail, i guess
TuxSuit82: no no no
TuxSuit82: why do you want us to pretend we have a flat tire?
Starrside: I'm throwing in a little realism in here
TuxSuit82: yeah
TuxSuit82: um-hmm
TuxSuit82: right
TuxSuit82: and how is a flat tire going to do that?

Make me wait FOUR DAYS, huh? Take that!

Starrside: it happens
Starrside: =)
TuxSuit82: you -
Starrside: yes?
TuxSuit82: ah, forget it!
Starrside: i wonder if William ever had to change a flat tire
TuxSuit82: I think he's about to find out

Darn! Canceled it before I was able to read it.

TuxSuit82: uh disregard that last IM
Starrside: uh, it got canceled before i read it
TuxSuit82: whew
Starrside: type it again
TuxSuit82: nevermind
Starrside: so we're just going to sweat here like slugs, holding up traffic, while we have a flat tire
TuxSuit82: Bodyguard's doing it. Or the chauffeur
Starrside: they went to use the loo
TuxSuit82: Starrside
Starrside: yes?
TuxSuit82: nothing :::sighs:::
TuxSuit82: going out to the trunk of the car
TuxSuit82: opening trunk of the car

I quickly typed before he could write his next action.

Starrside: NO SPARE!
TuxSuit82: Starrside!
Starrside: aren't i sweet? =)
TuxSuit82: Grrrrrr!

(Pause)

TuxSuit82: Okay, we'll walk. The restaurant's just two blocks down.
Starrside: don't give me that Tux.
Starrside: that's the chicken way out.
Starrside: where's your imagination =)

(pause)

TuxSuit82: truthfully its more like two miles
TuxSuit82: well, walking under London's stars can be pretty romantic.
Starrside: walk?
Starrside: i have on high heels!
TuxSuit82: what else do you suggest?
Starrside: cab?
TuxSuit82: you have cash on you?
TuxSuit82: because i don't.

My brows came together at this point.

Starrside: how did you expect to pay for dinner? washing dishes?
TuxSuit82: i don't know what part of the US you're in or how things work here but here cabs don't take platinum.

Oh, a credit card guy, is he? Okay, starting to like him.

Starrside: I get the picture.
Starrside: we walk.
TuxSuit82: I hope you brought a shawl to cover your shoulders.
Starrside: well, someone yanked me out of the hotel room so fast i didn't have time
TuxSuit82: here, take my jacket
Starrside: I don't want to

I was still grumpy.

TuxSuit82: take it!
Starrside: okay
Starrside: putting it on.

Lull in the conversation. Oh, I hate it when that happens

Starrside: Tux....
TuxSuit82: what?

I smiled as I typed.

TuxSuit82: have an umbrella!
Starrside: It's raining
TuxSuit82: ha! knew you were going to say that!
TuxSuit82: :-)
TuxSuit82: so stand under the umbrella with me before you get wet

I frowned, still ticked that he bested me.

Starrside: No. Staying right here.
Starrside: no thanks
TuxSuit82: you'll catch pnuemonia.
Starrside: my choice
TuxSuit82: Don't be so stubborn Starr.
Starrside: ::: shrug:::
TuxSuit82: Fine be that way.
TuxSuit82: :::throws umbrella to ongoing traffic:::
TuxSuit82: umbrella gets demolished
Starrside: what are you doing?
TuxSuit82: standing in the rain with you
Starrside: but you'll catch pnemonia too.
TuxSuit82: does it matter as long as we're together?

My mouth dropped at the sentence."Yes!" I shouted, breaking silence of the bedroom. My heart was bursting with excitement. I went on the bed, grabbed a pillow and jumped up and down. I was so happy. This was the guy I've been waiting for since the beginning of my life. I gave him a crisis and he turned it into a romantic situation. Oh, life was good.

TuxSuit82: Starr?
TuxSuit82: Starrside

I plunked myself back in front of the computer. I tried to catch my breath.

Starrside: I'm here
TuxSuit82: good. I was worried.
TuxSuit82: look, if you want to call it quits on the date it's fine with me. We can talk about something else.

WHAT?!! No. What made him think that? I needed a save.

Starrside: forget the rain. I don't want to ruin the dress and make-up. And look. There's the restaurant!
TuxSuit82: :-)
Starrside: You know what I'm going to do?
TuxSuit82: what?
Starrside: I'm going to order caviar, raw oysters, escargot and
Starrside: I'm not going to eat it.
TuxSuit82: okay....
Starrside: your platinum can't take it? =)
TuxSuit82: it's not that. it's just that I don't want to see food go to waste.

Romantic and considerate. This was getting better and better.

Starrside: you know oysters are said to be aphrodisiacs
TuxSuit82: are you suggesting something.
Starrside: I'll eat the oysters

Pause. Long pause. A pause so long my screensaver popped up.

Starrside: Tux, what are you doing?
TuxSuit82: I'm holding your hand
TuxSuit82: gazing into your eyes

Urp!

Starrside: where's your bodyguard?
TuxSuit82: oh, he's around somewhere
Starrside: where?
TuxSuit82: why? you got a crush on him?
Starrside: =P
TuxSuit82: would you like to dance?
Starrside: love to
TuxSuit82: what song are we dancing to?
Starrside: Save Tonite
TuxSuit82: why?
Starrside: Because its my absolute favorite song as of this moment.
TuxSuit82: C'mon, give me something with a little more beat.
TuxSuit82: or a slow song so I can at least place my arms around you.

Double urp!

Starrside: SAVE TONITE!!!!!

(pause)

TuxSuit82: all right. all right. we're dancing to "save tonite"
TuxSuit82: difficult woman.
Starrside: i'm difficult but you just have to love me
TuxSuit82: Indeed. but i can still hold you close

Triple urp!

Starrside: okay, song's done, food's arrived, lets eat.
TuxSuit82: You seem to be moving this date along pretty fast
Starrside: is that a good or bad thing
TuxSuit82: Just an observation

(Okay people. Close your eyes. Shut the door and wear earmuffs. This is a private moment =). Tux and I had "dinner". Long and pleasant conversation. I won't give details. But he told me stuff about himself which I liked. Which I liked A LOT. I don't know what he thought about me. I can only hope the feeling was mutual)

Starrside: I'm getting dessert
TuxSuit82: Oh no, you're not!
Starrside: and why's that?
TuxSuit82: you had all those appetizers, you ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, you are not getting dessert.
Starrside: I'm starving
Starrside: you were FOUR DAYS late
TuxSuit82: it looks like we're going to be washing dishes.
Starrside: Why? Your platinum can't take it? =)
Starrside: If you're so picky about money, why don't we just go Dutch, William?

For some reason I couldn't understand; there was a pause.

TuxSuit82: what did you just say?
Starrside: i asked you if you wanted to go Dutch?

I was confused.

TuxSuit82: no
TuxSuit82: scroll up!

I did, wondering what he was so upset about. Then I saw it.

TuxSuit82: YOU CALLED ME WILLIAM
Starrside: Tux, I'm so sorry
TuxSuit82: So the whole time we were on this date you were thinking about being with WILLIAM?
Starrside: I didn't mean to
TuxSuit82: I don't need this
TuxSuit82: I'm outta here

In my mind was a scene at the restuarant. Tux, leaving angry.

Starrside: Tux, wait!
TuxSuit82: Do you know one of the advantages of having a bodyguard, Starr? They keep unwanted people off you.

I jumped out of my chair. What was going through my mind? Did I think I could just leap into the computer screen, go through cyberspace and prevent Tux from logging off?

Starrside: Tux, please!

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

Starrside: Tux

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

Starrside: Tux?

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

Starrside: TUX!!!

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

"Ugh!" I screamed out in frustration. Self-control the only thing preventing me from yanking the computer out of its socket and throwing it out the window. I took several needed deep breaths and logged off.

Chapter Five

"William, William, William," I said over again. It was just a name. Why would Tux be so spasmed by it? I wasn't mad. Nor did I feel some aching loss. Tux wasn't close enough to me to be called friend. I smiled slightly as I recalled some of the thinsg he typed to me. I could imagine a British accent whispering them in my ear which made me smile a little more.
I love you...
Maybe you and I...
Where's your imagination?
You look ravishing...
I'm holding your hand...
I can still hold you close...
I never saw a picture but I always imagined him smiling. This wonderful smile that had smugness and a challege hinted with it.
No, I wouldn't miss him tremendously if he left.
But I would miss him.
In any case I don't like leaving relationships on a sour note.
Chat with him tomorrow, I decided. Try and straighten things out. And then we'll see...
I didn't really sleep well that night.

I woke up the next morning and logged on with only one hope. He wasn't there. I stayed on for as long as I dared which is until an hour prior to work bur he never came.
If anyone noticed my sulleness at work they didn't comment on it, for which I was grateful.
When I came home my mom asked me what was wrong. When I mentioned the internet she gave me that "look". You know what look I'm talking about. Don't act like you don't. I was pretty vague about it.
I instantly logged back on. Again, he wasn't there. It was barely twenty-four hours. I sighed taking in a moment. It looked as if I was going to have to rely on the power of E-mail. I began typing.

Tux,
I'm sorry you became so offended when I called you William last night. Don't take it personal. I'd be discussing Romeo and Juliet in class and half the time I'd be calling Romeo William. I'd be talking to my sister about her boyfriend and half the time I'd be calling her bf William.
You've seen my page. You know I have nine and odd unfinished stories about the guy. For this to happen the prince is on my mind 24/7. I'd be ironing and my mind's thinking of William running away from an exploding building. I'd be fixing lunch and I'm imagining William fencing and he's wearing a plumed hat. At work I'm barely able to stop my self from saying to customers "Do you want a William with that?" I think about him when I sleep. I think about him online. Yes, I think about him when I chat with you.

(I took a deep breath before I proceeded )

I really miss you. If you don't want to talk with me again I'll understand. But I hope that it doesn't come down to that.

I looked at my letter. Would he read it? Would he not? What if he did? What if he didn't? Did I say enough? Did I say too much?

There was some comfort. I didn't give Tux my name. If he decided never to talk to me again it was just Starrside that goofed.
I was about to press SEND when the notice came up.

Would you like to receive an Instant Message from TuxSuit82?

Hardly able to contain myself I deleted the E-mail and pressed YES. I waited anxiously for what Tux was going to say.

TuxSuit82: ::: places index finger on Starrside's lips::: Don't say anything. I just need to sit here, look at your SN and do some thinking.
Starrside: okay
TuxSuit82: I said don't say anything

I was tempted to type in a smiley face but decided against it.  I guess I could've done something productive. Updating, or ironing. Surely, Tux wouldn't realize I'm gone. But I would know. And I felt too lousy to do anything. I sat in front of the computer, waited and thought. Thought about what Tux was thinking on his side. Did he hate me right now? Did he miss me? And darndest of all darns! I shouldn't have erased that E-mail.
Maybe one of the disadvantages of the internet is you can't touch and you can't see. You are dependent on the power words. And there are instances in life when words are powerless and all you need is a look, all you need is a touch, to reassure you everything's all right between you two. And I remember his words the other night: I'm holding your hand.
What was he thinking on the other side?

TuxSuit82: Starrside?
Starrside: yes?
TuxSuit82: I told you not to say anything

Then why did you IM me? I wondered. I went back to silence and just looking at the computer screen. I hope i wasn't cheating or anything. I did have the radio on. When "Save Tonite" played I had to fight the urge to inform Tux about it.

TuxSuit82: Starr
TuxSuit82: Starrside, you there?
Starrside: I'm here
TuxSuit82: I told you not to say anything.

Okay... what was his problem? Was he playing me for the fool? Was he actually just goofing off on the other end while I waited and waited for him to comment on the status of our relationship? He better not be!

TuxSuit82: Starrside...
Starrside: What?
Starrside: and don't write "I told you not to say anything"
TuxSuit82: i told you not to say anything
Starrside: you know what?
Starrside: I'm going to log off, go downstairs and get my dinner.
Starrside: if you have a problem with that you can just -
Starrside: you can just -

I typed the first saying that came to my mind.

Starrside: you can just eat a pickle and choke on it!
TuxSuit82: Oh, good. You're ready to talk.

What did he mean by that? I didn't care. As long as we were going to talk.

TuxSuit82: So what are you doing?

Gee, what was I doing?

Starrside: picking out fungus from in between my toes.

(pause)

TuxSuit82: I really didn't need to know that.
Starrside: Then why did you ask?
Starrside: =)
TuxSuit82: :-)

Deep breath for me.

Starrside: I'm sorry I called you William
Starrside: I didn't mean to
TuxSuit82: I know you didn't
TuxSuit82: I overreacted
TuxSuit82: it's just that ever since I can remember I was always in the shadow of "the prince"
Starrside: I'm sorry
TuxSuit82: It's not your fault
TuxSuit82: I would get close to people only to find out they're only getting close to me to get to "the prince"
TuxSuit82: Do you see where I'm getting at?
Starrside: sort of
TuxSuit82: so anyway that's why I acted the way I did.
Starrside: now that I think of it... I could never mistake you for William.
TuxSuit82: and why, pray tell, is that?
Starrside: you look different.
TuxSuit82: I look different
Starrside: yeah
Starrside: despite what you tell me when I talk to you an image of William doesn't fill my mind. In my mind you look more like...
Starrside: Ethan Hawke in Dead Poets Society

(pause)

TuxSuit82: I'm still considered good looking, right?
Starrside: yeah
Starrside: he was a hunk there
TuxSuit82: well, despite what you tell me... I imagine you to look like -
TuxSuit82: Alicia Silverstone in Clueless

I really burst out laughing at this. Must've been nerves.

Starrside: LOL
TuxSuit82: lol
Starrside: dream on
TuxSuit82: you too
Starrside: and I'm imagining your name's something like...
Starrside: Parker or Stephen
Starrside: you know, power names
TuxSuit82: Power names?
TuxSuit82: no on both guesses
Starrside: then what is it?
TuxSuit82: I'll tell you when I know you better.

I understood this.

TuxSuit82: I have to go

My heart sank.

TuxSuit82: but I'll chat with you next time I'm on

That instantly made me feel better.

Starrside: okay
Starrside: and Tux
TuxSuit82: what?
Starrside: I'm glad you came back
TuxSuit82: what do you mean?
TuxSuit82: I just came back for my jacket
TuxSuit82: I forgot it the other night
TuxSuit82: :::grin:::

Yeah, I knew then we were going to be fine.

Starrside: =P

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

* * *