Chapter one

It was 4:00pm. I trudged my way up the stairs feeling in my usual low spirits. I took off my jacket and sat down in front of my computer which always lifts me somewhat. No one knows who I am on the net. To them I am just Starrside, Prince William obssessor, the hostess of The Prince Chronicles, and PW fanfic writer extraordinaire (snobby remark, I know). So I logged on AOL putting on my alter ego the way Superman pretends to be Clark Kent.

As usual the first thing I did was check my mail. I wondered if there would be any more comments on my stories. They ranged from appreciation (It's good...), to compliments I feel I don't deserve (Your story is the best there is!), the inevitable question (When are you going to update?), and other odds and ends.

I was disappointed when I saw no new mail. But that happens.  I was barely on for a couple of minutes when I received a notice.
Would you like to receive an Instant Message from TuxSuit82?
TuxSuit82? I wondered. Who's he? I assumed it was a guy. But I always like meeting people on the net so given the choices between YES and NO, I clicked on YES.

TuxSuit82: Who in the world do you think you are?
Starrside: Excuse me?
TuxSuit82: The poor guy has gone through enough. How could you have the gall to mutilate the image of royalty and his family name not to mention himself the way you do in your stories.
Starrside: I'm...not sure what you're talking about.
TuxSuit82: PRINCE WILLIAM
Starrside: You're male, right?

(few second pause)

TuxSuit82: Yes.
Starrside: Okay, just wanting to make sure.
TuxSuit82: You don't seem like the type.
Starrside: What's that supposed to mean?
TuxSuit82: You go around writing about stuff you don't even know.
Starrside: It's fiction. I've stated that clearly on the page.
TuxSuit82: It's rubbish.

I took a moment to think. To insult my work is to insult me personally. And the choice of words stung.

TuxSuit82: Hello?
Starrside: I'm still here. Why are you doing this?
TuxSuit82: Doing what?
Starrside: Why are you attacking me!
TuxSuit82: Let's just say I know the prince and I'm speaking up fror him.
Starrside: I'm surprised if he's this mad about it he wouldn't speak for himself.

When he didn't respond...

Starrside: There are several thousand other PW writers on the net. Why me?
TuxSuit82: Does anyone else have fifteen?
Starrside: So I'm being attacked due to the quantity?
Starrside: I write. It's what I do.
TuxSuit82: I suggest you stop.
Starrside: I can't do that!
TuxSuit82: Why not?
Starrside: If some stranger asked you to chop off your right arm would you do it?
TuxSuit82: Wills would appreciate it.
Starrside: Oh. I forgot. You know the prince!
Starrside: I was being sarcastic in case you didn't know.
TuxSuit82: You don't believe me?
Starrside: You have no proof
TuxSuit82: I only have my word
Starrside: And what's that worth?
TuxSuit82: I'm sorry. That's all I can give. And I'm asking you on behalf of the prince: Take these monstrosities off the net.

He just called my passion monstrosities! Oh it hurt! It hurt bad!

Starrside: These stories are my life and even if they weren't I'd leave them on the net just to spite you!
TuxSuit82: But I look stupid in them.
Starrside: "I" did you just write "I"?

But the screen only informed.
TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

Chapter Two
I was on the net talking to some of my pals.

Starrside: The weirdest thing happened today. My mom and I went to this thing for her work. And we forgot where we parked the car! I wonder if William ever experienced that.
BluSilkRse: LOL
BluSilkRse: Nah! he has the chauffeur pick him up and he decides when and where.
Starrside: We went totally nuts looking for the car.
BluSilkRse: You eventually found it, right?

I was about to respond when I was interrupted by a notice.
Would you like to receive an Instant Message from TuxSuit82?
The options stared at me. YES and NO.
Did I really want to talk to the guy again?

BluSilkRse: Starrside?

Maybe he wanted to apologize? one half of my mind stated.
Ha! the other part of me rejected.
I clicked on NO.

Starrside: Sorry. Yeah, we found the car. Otherwise how would we have gotten home?
BluSilkRse: What took you so long to respond.
Starrside: Just some jerk.

I resumed my conversation with BluSilkRse but in the back of my mind was the wondering thought: If I clicked on YES. What would Tux have said?

I was just goofing off on the net when that familiar notice popped up. Would you like to receive an Instant Message from TuxSuit82?
I looked at it.
To answer click yes or not to click yes? That was the question.
After a moment of pondering I clicked: NO.

I hate William. I hate William. I hate William. I thought as I stared at the front of the computer screen and I encountered (as I always do) writer's block. Tux did this! I thought angrily as I thought of the insults he threw at me. Darn him! Then came the notice. I clicked on NO furiously and, seeing I wasn't going to have any inspiration that day, logged off.

A few days after I clicked NO on that notice for so many times I can't even count, I received an e-mail from the guy.

Subj: Really Important
Date: 98-12-1 23:43:37 EDT
From: TuxSuit82
To: Starrside

Talk to me DAMNIT!

Luv,
TuxSuit82

Oh, love his choice of words. I thought sourly as I sat down. And what was with the word LUV at the end? Ugh!

I received the notice. I figure: Fine, anything so he can stop bugging me. I clicked on YES.

TuxSuit82: I love you
Starrside: Excuse me?
TuxSuit82: Oh, I thought you weren't going to respond.
TuxSuit82: You haven't updated in a while.
TuxSuit82: Why?
Starrside: I had to study for finals, work in my demeaning job, do the ironing.
Starrside: Gee, surprise. surprise. Starr has a life outside of the net afterall.

(Long pause)

Starrside: You said you wanted to talk to me about something important. You have one minute to catch my attention or else I log off, sign back on, and start ignoring you again.
TuxSuit82: When are you going to update?

(HELLO! That sentence always captures my attention)

Starrside: I thought you hated my stories. What was that charming little word you used to describe them? RUBBISH?
TuxSuit82: Well, I didn't read them before. They're pretty good.
Starrside: My page has been graced by your reading eyes? I'm sooooooooo flattered.
Starrside: I was being sarcastic in case you didn't know.
TuxSuit82: Well
TuxSuit82: Yeah
TuxSuit82: Whatever.
TuxSuit82: When are you going to update?
Starrside: Maybe never.
TuxSuit82: WHAT?????!!!!!
Starrside: I thought you'd be pleased.
TuxSuit82: You can't just leave the guy hanging in mid air. What's going to happen to him next?
Starrside: I have an idea.
Starrside: I think you're going to love it
Starrside: I KILL THE PRINCE OFF
TuxSuit82: WHAT?
Starrside: you get an ending, I retire my pen as a writer.
TuxSuit82: I thought you said these stories were your life.
Starrside: They are. But because of a certain person who shall remain nameless, I have encountered the worst case of writer's block. I can't write a decent paragraph if I tried.
TuxSuit82: I don't get it.
Starrside: I can't think of William because well... I'm thinking of YOU!
TuxSuit82: lol.
Starrside: Sure laugh.
TuxSuit82: I'm sorry.
Starrside: You get a bad case of writer's block and see if you're still laughing.
TuxSuit82: How old are you?
Starrside: What?
Starrside: 17
Starrside: you?
TuxSuit82: 16
Starrside: =)
Starrside: like William?
TuxSuit82: Like William
TuxSuit82: I gotta go
Starrside: if you must
TuxSuit82: chat with you next time?

I needed to think about this.

Starrside: okay.
TuxSuit82: great!
TuxSuit82: hope you get over your writer's block
Starrside: that's sweet.

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

I didn't think it was ever going to happen but... I left the conversation with a smile on my face. After a conversation with Tux of all people! I logged off AOL and went straight to Word Processor. For some reason which I can't explain, I had gotten over my writer's block.

Chapter Three
I saw his name pop up on my buddy list. ( I hate the guy and I put him on my Buddy list?)

Starrside: Hey you!
TuxSuit82: Darn. Beat me to it!
Starrside: Where were you?
TuxSuit82: Why?
TuxSuit82: Miss me?
TuxSuit82: No response?
TuxSuit82: Yeah, you missed me
TuxSuit82: :::grin:::
Starrside: Where were you?
TuxSuit82: been busy with extracurricular activities
Starrside: such as?
TuxSuit82: swimming
TuxSuit82: rowing
TuxSuit82: the usual
Starrside: LOL
TuxSuit82: what?
Starrside: the way you're trying to answer my questions -- as if you're William
Starrside: It's hilarious!
TuxSuit82: sound like?
Starrside: get real
TuxSuit82: Do you have a pic?
Starrside: nope
TuxSuit82: Describe yourself then
Starrside: What do you want to know?
Starrside: long wavy black hair. past my shoulders
Starrside: Big brown eyes. Almond-shaped (?), long lashed (?)
Starrside: and I'm short
TuxSuit82: How short?
Starrside: Don't ask.
Starrside: What about you?
TuxSuit82: me?
Starrside: Describe yourself
TuxSuit82: Six foot two (too tall for you?). Blonde hair. Blue eyes. I've been old I have a nice physique.
Starrside: There you go again. Pretending to be William.
TuxSuit82: Pretending?
TuxSuit82: Prince's eyes are hazel
Starrside: Big difference
TuxSuit82: He's a pal. That's why we're into the same things.
Starrside: uh-huh
Starrside: (sarcasm)
TuxSuit82: I take it you don't believe me. 

I'm smiling to myself here.

TuxSuit82: Would you rather have it be that I am he?
Starrside: you have no idea!
Starrside: but I'd rather you be truthful
TuxSuit82: if that's what you want
TuxSuit82: I think you're kookoo for liking a guy you don't know
Starrside: okay, since you're his friend
Starrside: tell me about him
TuxSuit82: I can't really say much lest I get caught
Starrside: lest? are we taking up Shakespeare in Eton?
TuxSuit82: I never said I schooled in Eton
Starrside: so do you or don't you?
TuxSuit82: not saying
Starrside: you're annoying when you do that
TuxSuit82: I am?
Starrside: YES!
TuxSuit82: Good. then I shall do it more often

I laughed to myself. Thinking it's a shame we couldn't laugh over it together. I reached for the keyboard to type: LOL.

TuxSuit82: I have to go
TuxSuit82: later
Starrside: till next time

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.

Chapter Four
Starrside: Oh goody you're on.
TuxSuit82: Darn! Beat me again.
Starrside: Tell me you love me!
TuxSuit82: uh, I love you?
Starrside: You're so wonderful Tux

(Pause)

TuxSuit82: All right. Who are you and what have you done with Starrside?
TuxSuit82: Starrside! Starrside! Yoohoo. There's an imposter using your screenname!
TuxSuit82: :-)
Starrside: Shut up you idiot! It's me!
Starrside: LOL
Starrside: I just watched You've Got Mail.
TuxSuit82: Isn't that a movie that involves an Internet romance?
Starrside: It reached London already?
TuxSuit82: No
TuxSuit82: mates online told me abot it.
Starrside: mates.
Starrside: it's such a cute word.
Starrside: Anyways, I loved the movie.
TuxSuit82: So maybe you and I
TuxSuit82: :::wink::: hint. hint.
Starrside: uh-huh
Starrside: sure...
Starrside: (sarcasm)
TuxSuit82: k. thanx for shattering a bloke's fantasy
Starrside: Tux, you know my heart belongs to William.
TuxSuit82: That prince!
TuxSuit82: always getting the girls
Starrside: tell me Tux. would Wills ever like my work?

(I still didn't believe he even saw the guy but I was in my "Let's Pretend" mode.)

TuxSuit82: there might be a possibilty.
TuxSuit82: if you stop killing the guy
Starrside: oh, you read that story
TuxSuit82: uh-huh
TuxSuit82: didn't think you had the guts
Starrside: what did you think of it?
TuxSuit82: No comment
Starrside: was the ending bad? was it good?
TuxSuit82: No comment
Starrside: You sound like Wills to the press: No comment.
TuxSuit82: Gee, I wonder why
TuxSuit82: hmmm
TuxSuit82: Is it possible?
Starrside: Don't even go there!
Starrside: Some advice. Don't feed an obsession.
Starrside: it ain't a good idea.
TuxSuit82: all right
TuxSuit82: :::innocent whistling:::

Boy, he almost had me believing!

Starrside: What time is it there? It's eleven o'clock over here.
TuxSuit82: eight. give or take a few mins.
Starrside: don't you have school?
TuxSuit82: what universe are you living in?
TuxSuit82: Christmas vacation
Starrside: ooops! they have those in England too, huh?
TuxSuit82: do i need to give you time to faint?
TuxSuit82: j/j
Starrside: what do you like on your hotdogs?
TuxSuit82: huh
TuxSuit82: where did that come from?
Starrside: my mind's still on the movie.
Starrside: I was snacking on a hotdog.
Starrside: So...
TuxSuit82: What do I like on my hotdog?
TuxSuit82: ketchup, mustard.
Starrside: relish?
TuxSuit82: yeah
Starrside: onions?

I crossed my fingers.

TuxSuit82: NO!
Starrside: Whew
Starrside: Good.
TuxSuit82: Can I ask a personal question?
Starrside: depends
TuxSuit82: do you have a BF?
Starrside: it's the inevitable question, huh?
TuxSuit82: do you or don't you?
Starrside: I'm crushing on Wills.
TuxSuit82: DO YOU OR DON'T YOU?
Starrside: let me put it this way: seventeen. Never been touched. never been kissed. And still single damnit!
TuxSuit82: blokes couldn't handle your prince fanaticism, huh?
Starrside: you got it.
TuxSuit82: wimps.
Starrside: lol
Starrside: what about you?
TuxSuit82: I'm in all-boys school. what do you think?
Starrside: well, there are those girls from your sister school.
TuxSuit82: they all flock to the prince once the enter the door.
Starrside: bummer
TuxSuit82: so I'm available
TuxSuit82: if you want me

I stared at what he wrote.

Starrside: if I want you?
TuxSuit82: :::grin:::
TuxSuit82: well...
Starrside: uh, this is all so - so sudden.
TuxSuit82: we're going to break-up anyway
Starrside: you're already planning our break- up?
TuxSuit82: so, take the plunge
Starrside: shouldn't we go on a date first?
TuxSuit82: formalities. formalities.
TuxSuit82: if you reallly think we ought to
TuxSuit82: when and where

I checked the digital clock on the dresser behind the bed.

Starrside: it's late. I still have to do the laundry and I have to wake up for work tomorrow.
TuxSuit82: laundry? at midnight?
Starrside: i guess six pm. In your time zone that would be -
TuxSuit82: one in the morning
Starrside: yikes!
TuxSuit82: I'll be here.

How sweet. He was going to be awake just for me? That is... if he really was in London.

Starrside: wear a Tux!
TuxSuit82: if not. it will be a suit :-)
Starrside: I'll be waiting.
TuxSuit82: till then
Starrside: Don't be late!
TuxSuit82: I won't
Starrside: Oh, parting is such sweet sorrow

TuxSuit82 is not currently signed on.